Book3:WereMyDreamIs
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kagain.” Thesewordssoundedsadandpealsohadatantalizingtouchofprovokinglust.Dimitriwasnotapyboytypeoverlyiedinsex.Orary,heseemedtobemorelikeaic.Charinacouldnotmakeheadortailsoutofthetruemeaningofthosewords,sosheshruggedanddecidedtoputitasideforthemoment,thinkingthereletimetoaskhimaboutitterwhenshehadace.Shetiltedhergsstofinishoffherwhiskey. Itwasstillsummer,butteatnightthewindwasstillrathercoldbythesideoftheke.PerhapsCharina’sclothingwastoothin;sheshiveredinthecooirandfinishedherdrinkinaquaff.PattingMaureenlightlyontheheadshesaid,“Iamgoingtosleep.Whataboutyou?”Maureenbarkedasiftelliosleepinpeaditwouldstandguardduringthenight.Charinasmiled,pattedMaureenontheheadandstoodup.Dimitrihadnotreallybeenasleep.Heonlypreteosnore,whileiyhisearswereattuheversationofthebeauties.HeheardChariingintohersleepingbagahingaroundturnedquiet.Heopenedoneeye,wiMaureencheekilyandwavedtoit.ThelittledoguoodandcurleditselfintothecrookofDimitri’sarms.ItwasonlythenthatDimitrilethimselfslipintodreamnd. ThedreamndDimitriehistimewasquitedifferent.Hisformerdreamswereutterlyillusoryanduheirtents,unsubstantiaerous,weremostlyinunectedbitsandpiecesimpossibletopiecetogetherintoalogicalwhole.Thistimeitwasquitedifferent.Heerfectlyawarethathehadenteredareandstableworld.Everythingaroundhimreflectedagoldenbrilliancebrightasthesunbutwasnothurtfultohiseyes.herwasthesunlightthatshoneonhisbodytoohottobear.Infactitfeltwarmandweling.Hisbodywassurroundedinacircleoflight.Dimitriwaoknowwherehewasanddecidedtofindhisbearing.Helookedaroundanddiscoveredthatthesunlightdidnotcastashadowofhisbodyontheground.Ifthatwasso,wherehadhisbodygoo?Haditdiedandbeeroyed?Wasthisaernalstateofmind?Dimitriwasbothsadandhappyattheturs.Hewassadthatthisfleshbodyofhisthathadbeenwithhimforsomanyyears,thoughdisabledandsicklyandaburdenonhimattimes,wasdearertohimthanadirectretive.Hefeltlostanddissotewithoutit.Butoherhandheytofindthatthelossofhisfleshbodydidterdestruofhimasay.Hehadachieved‘eterence’,whichishistrueself.Amildfeelingofhappinessrosefromthedepthofhisheart.Itwasafeelingquitedifferentfromtheventionaloresultedfromstarktrastwiththestimutionofgreatpain.ThemildfeelingofdelightinDimitri’sheartwasanaturalfeeling,owasbarelydisablebutwhichhehappeocatch.“WhyhaveIunknowinglyoverlookedsuchafeelinginalltheyearsIhavebeenalive?”Dimitriwondered.Suchmildfeelingofhappinessisaminuteoneimpossibletoexpressinwords.Allhislife,Dimitri’sfleshbodyhadsufferedallkindsofworriesaions.Theyedthemselvessotightlyaroundhim,somelightasspider’swebandotherstenaciousasfishihathewasuountanglehimself.Butnowinthisperfectworldfullhtnessandradianceallhistroubles,vexationsaersdisappearedwithoutatrathispureworldofunendinghappihiseterenceismyrealself.Sothereissuderfulstateofmindinthisworldofours!WhyhaveIneverknownofitsexistencebefore?It’sreallystupidofme!Perhapstroubleandsufferinghadhoodwinkedmyeyes.NowIfinallyuandthatthehappinessbroughtbypilingupmoneyandmaterialgoodsisheyarefalsebecausesuchfeelingwilldisappearwhenmoneyandmaterialgoodsdisappear,whi